DAY 15: Expressing Needs & Wants

DAY 15: Expressing Needs & Wants

One of the greatest misunderstandings many Christ followers have is believing constantly being in need is a bad thing. This is a wrong belief system. God invented needs. God Himself has needs. God created needs for the purpose of getting closer to Him and allowing us to get close to others. It is our immature and broken parts that keep us from needing God. God Himself has a need to be connected, even within the three-part Godhead. The Trinity is a clear example of the connectedness and perfect relationship only God could design. God the Father had a need and asked Jesus to do what He needed to be done. When Jesus was leaving the Earth, after doing what His Father had asked of Him, He also had a need. He requested the Holy Spirit to go to Earth and meet this need, and He did. All of these requests were met in the safety of relationship, binding love, and a desire to be connected. Jesus had a need, the Father had a need, and the Holy Spirit had a need, all of them working together in perfect relationship to complete a perfect purpose.

(Authors Townsend and Cloud have written much on this topic if you desire even greater insight.)

The first need we will look at is the need for BONDING. We all need a constant message that we belong. From the moment our little feet touched this Earth, we were wanted, we belonged, we were home. Some of us never received this message and those who raised us did not provide an atmosphere of love and connection; this is extremely heartbreaking. You were born with a need that was never properly met. There is hope for you. The Bible says that Jesus came for the brokenhearted. He was also sent to tell us that we belong. So now, as an adult, the Holy Spirit is sending you a message on a daily basis, reminding you that you belong and that you are no longer alone.

Though we belong to God, it doesn’t mean we are controlled by Him. There is freedom in God’s love, without control. Our Father has given us freedom to own our own lives and to lead them as we wish. He lovingly invites us to live close to Him and give our lives to Him wholeheartedly but never in a controlling manner.  Control is not love, and is motivated by fear, and the Bible says, “Perfect love casts out fear.” This brings us to our second need: SEPARATENESS. As soon as we are connected and know we totally and irrevocably belong, we need to learn the value of separateness as well.


  1. Kristy 4 years ago

    Touching and warming!!!! I belong!!! I belong!!!

  2. Joanne 4 years ago

    Hi Havilah, Absolutely love the way you share what you’ve learned in this study! What version of the Bible are you using? Thank you for the time and effort you’ve put into this.

  3. Joanne Beasley 4 years ago

    Hi Havilah, I absolutely love the way you share what you’ve learned. Which version of the Bible are you using? Thank you for the time and effort you have put into this study. I’m so enjoying learning along with you!

  4. katherine 4 years ago

    Havilah, I am daily blessed by your “I do hard things” I made a board to share you with the “who so evers”. I have daughters ,grandchildren & am a nanny. I will miss your joining me for coffee!
    Thank you.bless you! You are spot on!
    Katherine. Andover Massachusetts

  5. Lisa J Wood 4 years ago

    This is a beautiful way to express how we are to raise our children. I love the sentence where you share that God wants us to “own” our lives. That is so true. And with that comes the consequences of our choices. My goal is to be the absolute BEST example I can be to my children and through that, they learn how to own their lives and build a relationship with Christ. I’m leaning into Him for that help, wisdom and guidance.

  6. Jennifer 4 years ago

    I have needs. Needs are ok. Needs are natural and healthy. God created us with our needs and desires. Some of us never received the message that needs are ok from those who raised us. Instead some of us where never raised in an atmosphere of love and connection. Jesus came for me the broken hearted.

    Now that is an affirmation I need to be reminded of often.

  7. Kandee Mamula 4 years ago

    As I was watching you today, I began to think about how my bonding experience was hindered because I spent the first three months of my life in the neonatal intensive care due to being 2 months premature. It wasn’t until I began experiencing love and bonding with my parents, and then with the Lord in my early childhood, did I realize that needs/weaknesses were not negative things but “doorways” into deep relationships with God and others. Thanks so much for the reminder of those memories today.

  8. Lisa Debartolo-Martin 4 years ago

    Needs…I really “needed” this study today…I know my needs were never met as a child and even now as an adult in my marriage etcetera. I am so glad the HOLY SPIRIT sending a message, even now in this moment to meet me where I am at…I may not feel it, however it is by faith….I do ask right now to feel it from God in a tangible way….I know having menopause, and a Chronic health condition impacts my perception. is hard…JESUS HELP!
    Thank you, Havilah, for this very study…it is basic however so very challenging. .Thank God for that!
    Roses and the thorns!

  9. lori warkentin 4 years ago

    Thank you for being open to the Holy Spirit for sharing. I love your bible study. : )